


Five Places Sherlock And John Kissed And One Place Something Else Happened

by rightonmybins



Series: The Real Househusbands of Baker Street [11]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence - A Study in Pink, Domestic Life at 221B Baker Street, Fluff and Humor, Friends With Benefits, John goes with it, Kiss me John, M/M, Romantic Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-14 09:47:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13587510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rightonmybins/pseuds/rightonmybins
Summary: Re-imagined scenes from A Study in Pink. Don't judge me too harshly for this pre-Valentine's Day throwback schmoop fiesta.





	Five Places Sherlock And John Kissed And One Place Something Else Happened

I.  
“John, kiss me.”  
“What, here in front of everyone in Baker Street?”  
“Oh why not - it’s spring, love is in the air, we’re going to be flatmates…”  
“Flatmates with benefits?”  
“Most definitely. Come along, John, you know you want to. The moment our eyes first met at Bart’s, you were arse over tit for me.”  
“That obvious, was it?”  
“Actually, it wasn’t. But thank you for confirming it.”  
“Dammit.”  
“Kiss please.”

 

II.  
“John, kiss me.”  
“The back seat of a taxi is not the most private place in London.”  
“No one’s paying us any attention.”  
“All those people in that bus seem rather interested.”  
“Tourists. Irrelevant.”  
“The cabbie may object, Sherlock. He might charge us extra for creating a public nuisance.”  
“Nonsense, he’s much too busy texting his mistress about a dirty shag at a cheap hotel.”  
“Well, all right, if you insist.”  
“…Driver, once more around the block, SLOWLY! And John, do you have another 20 quid?”

 

III.  
“John, kiss me.”  
“Sherlock, we’re in a MORGUE.”  
“Oh please, we're surrounded by lifeless corpses who are long past caring.”  
“How romantic of you to point that out.”  
“You’re a doctor, stop being so – “  
“All right, all right.”  
“…See? That wasn’t so difficult.”  
“Sherlock - did you hear something?”  
“No.”  
“Like a faint little voice saying, ‘Okay!’? ”  
“That was just me saying, um, ‘Hey’. Now – again please.”

 

IV.  
“John, kiss me.”  
“I’m not your date.”  
“Of course you are. I’ve invited you to dinner, we’re sitting in a romantic restaurant with glasses of wine, there’s a candle on the table...”  
“This is not a date, it’s a stake-out.”  
“I made that part up.”  
“Wait - there’s no suspect, we’re not waiting for anyone to show up - we’re just having dinner together?”  
“Mm, yes, that seems obvious.”  
“And everyone in this restaurant, including the proprietor, assumes we’re here on a date?”  
“Also obvious.”  
“We’re sitting in front of an enormous window, visible to anyone within a 3-block area, on a so-called date THAT YOU TRICKED ME INTO. And now you want me to kiss you?”  
“Congratulations, Dr. Watson, you are firing on all cylinders this evening.”  
“Okay, but you’ll be sorry. That Bolognese sauce was bursting with garlic.”  
“…Proof positive, John: I'm clearly not a vampire.”

 

V.  
“John, kiss me.”  
“I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, Sherlock, but we’re in the middle of a drugs bust, most of Lestrade’s division is tearing the flat apart, your phone is ringing incessantly, Mrs. Hudson is nattering on about something or other, there’s a strange man standing in the hall, and…”  
“Hurry up, John, my nicotine patches are losing their potency and I need an immediate adrenaline rush.”  
“All this is not enough of a buzz for you?”  
“I need a massive jolt of sexual energy.”  
“How about a coffee instead?”  
“Boring. Now come on!”  
“No, everyone’s looking.”  
“Shut up, everybody, shut up! Don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathe. Everyone face the other way! Now John - quickly!”  
“Well, all right, but ...”  
“… OH, IT’S CHRISTMAS!!”

 

VI.  
“John, kiss me.”  
“Sherlock, we can’t kiss here – it’s a crime scene!”  
“Crawl under a shock blanket with me and let’s –  
“Full-frontal snogging under a shock blanket, what next.”  
“Pretend you’re giving me CPR.”  
“No!”  
“Pretend you’re performing the Heimlich Maneuver. In reverse.”  
“Sherlock, I’m a doctor, not an exhibitionist.”  
“Well that's a bit disappointing, I must say.”  
“Oh, all right. Let’s at least duck behind that big black limousine.”  
“Can’t. My brother’s in there.”  
“Back of a police car?”  
“Lestrade. Sally.”  
“Back of the ambulance?”  
“Dead body.”  
“All right, Sherlock Smart-Arse Holmes, where would you suggest I kiss you?”  
“221B Baker Street. Sitting room. In front of the fireplace. On. The. Rug.”  
“Oh! Right, then. Let’s run.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know there is no Sherlock/John morgue scene in ASIP. But honestly, I could not resist making this one up. Canon Divergence and all that.


End file.
